


Looking Like This

by voices_in_my_head



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Day 1, HaiKise Week, prompt: friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 09:47:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4474685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voices_in_my_head/pseuds/voices_in_my_head
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"When Ryouta entered a cafe randomly chosen in Shizuoka the last thing he was expecting was to find Haizaki behind the counter, leaning against the wall behind him and looking bored."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Looking Like This

**Author's Note:**

> It's Haikise week! Welcome to my first work to celebrate this week - I've had fics on my folder for almost a month and it's awesome to finally publish them. Enjoy :)

When Ryouta entered a cafe randomly chosen in Shizuoka the last thing he was expecting was to find Haizaki behind the counter, leaning against the wall behind him and looking bored.

There were only three other people in the cafe: a couple in a far away booth looking way to engrossed in themselves to even look up at the rang from the doorbell and a man writing in a computer, also too emersed in his own mind to care about others.

So Ryouta could understand his boredom. Of course, that didn't stop a smirk from entering his face when he called out, “Shougo-kun! I wasn't expecting to see you here. Were you finally expelled from school due to your... misbehaviour?”

Haizaki squinted at him, but didn't uncross his arms. “What the fuck do you want?”

Ryouta kept the smirk on his face, “nothing. I was just looking for a place to eat,” he blinked innocently.

“Sorry, we don't have any fancy food here,” Haizaki said in a mocking tone.

Ryouta just kept smiling, “with you working here, I wasn't expecting any.”

Haizaki finally uncrossed his arms and glared at him, “anything you want to say to my face, pretty boy?”

Ryouta blinked and gave a little smile, “I would never start any fights, Shougo-kun. Especially not at your work place.”

Just as he'd been expecting, Haizaki's clenched jaw gave a little twitch at that. So he didn't want to lose his job. Not that Ryouta wanted that either; Haizaki might make him want to say and do bad things, but that didn't mean he was going to ruin someone's life.

“So, what's the best thing in the house?”

Haizaki frowned at that, probably caught off guard at the sudden change of subject. Ryouta smirked at that; it was fun messing with the other's head. Head that was no longer sporting those horrible cornrows, thank whatever deity there was. While the hair was still painted a dark colour, it was now all tied into a ponytail, with the sides having been shaved. It was the sort of hairstyle that not everyone could pull off; it pissed Ryouta off that Haizaki was someone who could.

But Haizaki being who he was, he got over the surprise quickly, and sent a smile that was all fake in Kise's direction, “vanilla pie.”

“It won't be poisoned, will it?” Ryouta asked with a little smile.

Haizaki snorted, “if I ever go to prison, it ain't gonna be for you.”

Ryouta smiled at that and almost made a comment along the lines of changing the “if” to “when” but decided to leave it be. He didn't want Haizaki to change his mind, after all. “Then one slice, please. And a bottle of natural water. And please don't spit on either of them, Shougo-kun.”

Haizaki snorted again, but left to the kitchen without another word. Ryouta was a bit concerned he hadn't promised not to, but as long as the bottle came closed, then he'd be able to notice if there was something wrong with the pie, surely.

It didn't take long before Haizaki had come back with the food on top of the tray and who would have thought; he actually seemed to know what he was doing.

“Enjoy,” he said with a smirk when he put everything down and Ryouta squinted at that and then at his food. But the bottle was sealed and the pie looked perfectly normal.

He decided he wasn't going to let Haizaki win this one, so he took a bite. The only surprise that came from it was that Haizaki had not been lying when he'd said the pie was the best thing in the cafe. It really was pretty good; would probably be able to compete with one of Kagamicchi's and that was saying something.

Ryouta ate in silence, looking awarily at Haizaki, who'd gone back to his posture against the wall, but he wasn't looking as relaxed anymore.

He took the opportunity to study the younger boy. After all, it had been almost two years since they'd last seen each other; Fukuda Academy hadn't participated in any tournament since that fateful Winter Cup and while Ryouta had sometimes felt curious to ask Akashicchi or Momoicchi if they knew what had happened to Haizaki, he'd never done it.

Haizaki wasn't wearing any earrings anymore, but that might be because of work. He had the beginnings of a grey beard and was wearing working clothes – a t-shirt with the name of the place – Ruby's Cafe – and black pants. By the way they fitted his legs, Ryouta was sure his ass looked great in them.

He didn't even bother to try to squish those thoughts; just because he thought Haizaki was phisically appealing (sometimes) it didn't mean he had forgotten how much of an asshole the other was. Ryouta could be an asshole himself sometimes, but Haizaki took it to a whole new level.

“It's good,” he said once he was close to finishing.

Haizaki raised an eyebrow at that, probably having thought they'd spend the rest of the time in silence. Ryouta had thought of that too, but that would be predictable and who wanted that?

“And not poisoned. Surprised?”

“It's still soon to say,” Ryouta immediately answered.

Haizaki smirked at that but didn't continue.

Ryouta wanted to ask him whether he really had left school or not, but he was pretty sure that was too personal to get an honest answer. Then again, with Haizaki you never knew.

He'd leave it to another time, he decided and didn't even care that that would imply coming back. The food wasn't bad and Haizaki was a good way of distressing.

“How much for the food?” Ryouta asked when he'd finally finished the slice and had taken some sips from the water bottle.

Haizaki told him, not bothering to give him a receipt and once Ryouta had the change in his hand, he got up.

“I'll see you around.”

Haizaki raised an eyebrow, “I doubt it.”

“You never know, Shougo-kun,” Ryouta said with a smile but didn't let the other answer. It was good to have the last word.

.

The next time Ryouta entered the cafe two weeks had passed and it was only six pm.

“You again?” Haizaki said once he saw who'd entered the place, turning back to the table he'd been cleaning and Ryouta had been right; the pants did make his ass look great.

“What can I say? The pie was really good,” Ryouta answered and didn't bother to put on a smirk. Why bother if the one he was sending them to wasn't even looking?

“So you want another slice?” Finally Haizaki turned around, holding a tray filled with plates on one hand and on the other two empty bottles of soda.

“No, this time I'll try something else. Anything you recommend?”

Haizaki smirked at that, “you willing to trust me?”

“We already agreed you wouldn't poison me, didn't we?”

“I said I wouldn't go to prison for you, not that I wouldn't poison you,” Haizaki's smirk grew at that and Ryouta felt something in his stomach at that. It was weird how he'd missed this back and forth; nowadays he didn't have anyone to exchange quips with, not ones that sometimes went too far, anyway.

“I'm feeling adventurous so I'll trust you,” Ryouta said with a smile and he could see some clients looking at them. This time the place was a bit fuller; at least a third of the tables had people sitting at them.

“Then sit wherever you want,” Haizaki made a move of showing off the place with the hand holding the bottles, “I'll bring you a menu.”

“Thank you,” Ryouta replied and couldn't help but to say it a bit more sincerely than he'd been going for. It was weird having Haizaki being sort of mean at him but polite at the same time.

Ryouta decided to sit on the counter, just like his previous time, hoping just a little bit that Haizaki would be around for some conversation.

He couldn't say he hadn't stopped thinking about the other for the last two weeks; he was in third year of highschool and had too much to do to spend time doing that, but he'd be lying if he said he'd completely forgotten about the other boy. After all, he was back, wasn't he?

Haizaki turned from the board he'd picked a menu from and raised an eyebrow at Ryouta's chosen place, who just sent him a smile.

He gave him the menu without a word. It was simply a plasticized paper; they didn't offer all that much but it wasn't like Ryouta had come back for the food.

Haizaki was called from the kitchen to take food to some customers and when he was back Ryouta ordered a mixed toast and a water.

Haizaki wrote it down and hanged the note on a thread that the cook could pick it up from. He didnt' lean against the wall afterwards, instead he decided to put both elbows on the balcony, closer to Ryouta than he'd been expecting.

“What brings you back?”

Ryouta smiled, “why, your lovely personality, of course.”

Haizaki snorted, “you must be really bored.”

Ryouta raised an eyebrow, “I have exams to study for, I'm the captain of the basketball team and a model. Don't worry, I'm not bored.”

“Then you must simply miss me,” Haizaki immediately said with a smirk, leaving Ryouta without an answer. He'd walked right into that one, hadn't he?

So he simply glared at him. He was going to get him back for that but for now the tally was “Haizaki – 1, Ryouta – 0”.

“I'm a hard guy not to miss.”

“I don't think that coming from you that's a compliment,” Ryouta responded and to his surprise, Haizaki simply smirked. It seemed maybe he wasn't the only one enjoying these back and forths. Then Haizaki's expression suddenly changed, to a less mocking one, and he was getting up without a word.

Ryouta went to ask what was wrong, but then he saw that Haizaki simply had customers to serve. Again, he was surprised at how professional Haizaki seemed. Had he been doing this for long? Ryouta had always been a curious person, expecially when he didn't have all the puzzles to a certain puzzle. Or most of them.

Haizaki spent the next ten minutes coming and going, leaving dirty dishes, putting Ryouta's food in front of him, handing out bills... He picked up several plates at once and walked quickly with them. He almost looked graceful when doing it.

It was strange, to say the least. What had happened in the last two years? Ryouta was going to find out, one way or another.

He was halfway through his meal when Haizaki stopped in front of the balcony, but this time he didn't lean on it. Shame, Ryouta had kind of enjoyed trying to find out the specks of colour in his grey eyes.

“The food is good.”

“Still surprised?” Haizaki asked with a raised eyebrow, but he didn't seem offended. If anything, he was looking comfortable, even thought it was only Ryouta's second time at the cafe.

“A bit,” Ryouta shrugged. “Who's the cook?”

Haizaki gave him an assessing look at that, probably trying to figure what his intentions were but Ryouta just stared back. Let him think what he wanted.

“There are three,” Haizaki finally decided to answer. “Usually each one works alone, but when there are more people, then there are two cooks.”

“Are you ever one of them?”

“No. And before you ask, there are three other people working as waitresses.”

“Who said I wanted to know?” Ryouta asked but Haizaki just raised an eyebrow.

After that, they went silent. Haizaki left two times to take care of customers, but even when he was back, they still didn't talk.

Ryouta wondered why he'd even bothered; as he'd said, he really wasn't bored but maybe that was part of the reason. There were lots of expectations on him, and they weren't all bad, but it was refreshing to hang out (if that was even what he could call it) with someone who didn't expect or want anything of him.

“I'd like the bill, please,” Ryouta asked when Haizaki was back a new time and he received a nod in response.

Once again, he got up after paying and having received the change, thinking on whether he should say “I'll see you next week” or not, but Haizaki took that chance from him when he said, “see ya next time,” without even looking up from where he was picking up Ryouta's things.

Ryouta glared a bit at his lowered head. Should he say, “no, you won't” or repeat his sentence? What did he want to do? As far as he was aware, he didn't have any photo-shoot planned in the near future in Shizuoka, and while the place wasn't that far from Kanagawa, it didn't mean he was willing to get into a train every week just because.

In the end, he left without replying, having conflicted feelings about it. Well, he'd never found out Haizaki's story, had he? So he guessed he still had a reason to visit at least one more time.

.

Two weeks later and Ryouta was back at the cafe. It was ten pm on a Friday, but he had a photo-shoot in a place not that far from Shizuoka so he'd decided to sleep at a hotel. His parents had wondered, but when he'd said, “it's for work” they'd let it go. He almost felt guilty. Almost.

When he entered, the place was basically deserted, aside from an old man reading the newspaper on the farthest side of the balcony and two middle-aged men eating sandwiches at a table, probably trying to get some energy to go back to work.

Haizaki was sitting behind the balcony, with one hand holding his head and with his eyes closed. He looked relaxed.

He opened his eyes slowly, like he really had been asleep and the doorbell had woken up but Ryouta knew that was a lie. Haizaki didn't seem like the guy who'd sleep around strangers, and from what he'd seen, he wouldn't do it in his working place either.

“Wasn't sure I'd see you again.”

“Missed me?” Ryouta asked with a smile.

Haizaki snorted, “you wish.”

Ryouta sat on the bench right in front of him, but Haizaki didn't move away, so there were was a small space between their faces.

“Do you have some vanilla pie?”

“I do. Want a piece?”

“Yes, please. And a bottle of water.”

Haizaki moved back slowly, almost like a cat. Ryouta could say he was honestly surprised when he didn't stretch. Maybe he did it in the kitchen.

“Here ya go,” Haizaki put the things in front of him and then moved a bit to the side, so that he could return to his earlier position, but without getting into Ryouta's personal space.

Ryouta ate in silence. The pie was just as good as it had been that first time. He tried not to look very often to Haizaki, but it wasn't like it mattered, since the guy had gone back to closing his eyes.

It was strange how comfortable he felt. Ryouta wasn't a person that spent that much time in silence; he liked to talk, to share stories and he didn't usually like silences. But with Haizaki... it wasn't what he'd call a “comfortable silence”, more like it didn't really matter. Haizaki didn't care if he was talking or not and that was liberating in its own form.

When Ryouta was finished he didn't say anything, and Haizaki continued to rest so he copied him and he too closed his eyes. Just for some seconds, then he was going to call a taxi.

.

It took a week before Ryouta was back, this time around eight pm.

The cafe was pretty full and everyone seemed to be eating curry.

He sat at the balcony and when Haizaki went by him around two minutes later he asked, “why curry?”

“It's dinner of the night,” at Ryouta's confused look he continued, “we make different dishes for lunch and dinner. The menu is just if people don't want the special of the day.”

“Oh. Well then, a plate of curry, please. And a bottle of water.”

Haizaki nodded and went to fulfill what he'd ordered.

The door bell rang several more times and Ryouta wasn't sure if people kept on entering there would be enough space for everyone. Some people ended up sitting beside him and for the first time he was actually recognized.

“Hey, what's Kise Ryouta doing here?” A woman in her thirties asked him with a smile that looked way too happy.

“Just having a meal,” he answered with a small smile. It wouldn't do to annoy a fan. Ryouta knew that even if he was in the right, there would still be magazines that would love an horrid tale on how young model Kise Ryouta was turning out, like they'd suspected all along, to be incredibely rude and narcissits and what not.

“Oh, and what are you eating?” Why was she asking all these questions. “I'm Koizumi Yui, by the way.”

“It's a pleasure to meet you.” Well, that was a lie but he wasn't going to tell her that, now was he? She kept looking at him and he remembered he hadn't answered her previous question, “a plate of curry.”

“Oh, then I'll have the same,” she gave him another smile. Unfortunately older women (and men) starting conversations with him that didn't simply envolve asking for an autograph or a photo had been happening more and more often since he'd turned eighteen.

“Yo, Kise, come here,” he was called from the entree to the kitchen and he turned to Haizaki just as surprised as Koizumi.

“What?” He asked, but Haizaki just made a “come here” gesture. He turned with a small smile to the woman, “I'm sorry but my... friend is calling me.”

“Oh, no problem, we can't leave our friends hanging, can we?” She sent him a smile but he could see how it had become just a bit strained.

“What is it?” He murmured when he was beside Haizaki, who grabbed him by the arm and then pushed him in. “What are you doing?” He asked, this time in a louder voice.

The cook, a man in his sixties, didn't even bother to look up from where he was cutting bread.

“Here,” Haizaki said and showed him to a small table, where a plate of curry was resting.

Ryouta looked questioningly at him.

Haizaki sighed, “I guessed you didn't wanna eat with that woman beside you.”

Ryouta blinked, “that's... thank you,” he settled on.

“Don't sweat it,” Haizaki said and immediately went back to the front of the cafe.

Ryouta sat and started eating.

“Are you two friends?” Apparently the cook hadn't been as distracted as he'd seemed.

“No,” Ryouta answered because they weren't.

“That's a shame. Shou could use more friends.”

Ryouta didn't know how to reply, so he kept silent and apparently the cook decided he didn't have anything else to add either.

Haizaki only came back inside to grab plates and leave others, so they never got a chance to talk and Ryouta had a train to catch.

“She's gone, just so you know. Sent me a few glares, though,” Haizaki said with a smirk. He probably thought Ryouta was stupid for not putting the moves on her.

“Thanks again,” Ryouta said instead. He didn't care what Haizaki found stupid or not.

Haizaki shrugged, and went back to his job while Ryouta stepped into the cold hair. Soon enough he'd have to start wearing a jacket.

.

It took three weeks before Ryouta was back at the cafe, partly because of responsibilties, but also because he was still trying to figure out why he kept going back.

It was around nine pm and he still didn't have an answer, but he'd decided that this wasn't hurting anyone (except maybe his wallet) so for now he saw no reason to stop coming to the cafe.

“You're back,” Haikise said when he saw him enter.

“Surprised?” Ryouta asked with a smile and to his surprise, the smile wasn't fake. It wasn't the happy smile he sent his friends, but it wasn't mocking or mean either.

“A bit,” Haizaki smirked, but it too felt more comfortable than rude.

Ryouta walked until he was sitting at his usual sit (when had he gotten a usual sit??). The cafe wasn't as full as last time, but there were still some people around.

“What will it be this time?” Haizaki asked, putting both hands on the counter and arching a brow.

Ryouta shrugged, “I don't know. I haven't had dinner yet. Do you have anything substancial?”

Haizaki shrugged, “Hayashi-san makes the best burgers.”

“Then one of those. And a water, please.”

“Coming right up,” Haizaki told him while he noted the order.

He gave the note to the cook, a male in his forties, gave the bill to a couple and then cleaned their table and finally went back to Ryouta.

When had this become their routine? Why did they even have a routine? And why the hell were they so comfortable with each other? Ryouta wasn't sure he wanted to find an answer or just ignore the questions, although he'd been finding out over the past few years that ignoring something only worked 'till a certain point. Usually the one of no return.

“How many hours do you work here?” Ryouta asked when Haizaki started leaning on the wall.

The other boy raised an eyebrow at that but apparently Haizaki was in one of his sharing moods. “On Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays I only work from four pm to nine pm, but on Fridays and Saturdays I work from four pm to one am.”

“That's nine hours,” Ryouta said after making a quick mental calculation. He couldn't help but to sound astounded. The Haizaki he'd known would have never spent so much time doing one thing. Did he need the money that much? And if he only worked after four pm, that meant he was still studying, right?

Why was it that every answer he got, only brought up more questions?

Haizaki shrugged, like it wasn't a big deal.

“I get breaks. And it's not that hard. As you can see, this isn't that much of a popular place.”

Ryouta wasn't sure where to go from there, so he didn't say anything. Apparently Haizaki was more than happy with simply looking between him and the other clients.

Some minutes later and Haizaki left him with his food and then went to take care of some other customers.

When he was back Ryouta had finished and he was alone in the cafe aside from a couple (the same one from that first Friday?) and a group of teenagers. They looked a bit like trouble-makers, and Ryouta could see one of them saying something to Haizaki – he didn't hear what it was but by the laughter it caused in the other boys, it hadn't been nice. Still, Haizaki didn't do anything, he just walked away.

“What did he say?” Ryouta asked, too curious not to.

Haizaki didn't immediately answer him, giving him a look like he was pondering on whether to be honest or not.

Finally, he sighed. “Just making a joke. Nothing much.”

“Does it happen often?” Ryouta wished he could swear there wasn't the slighest worried tone in his voice.

Haizaki raised an eyebrow. The tone probably hadn't escaped him. “Sometimes. Just punks wanting to cause havoc.”

At that, Ryouta gave a laugh. “Shougo-kun, some time ago, you were one of those punks.”

“Guess people change,” Haizaki said with a serious look in his eyes and Ryouta could see something change between them. Going from the mean quips they usually exchanged to... he wasn't exactly sure of yet, but he wanted to find out.

“They do,” Ryouta said in a soft tone, wanting more than anything to ask what had made Haizaki change, but it was probably too soon.

Apparently, Haizaki didn't feel the same because suddenly his tone hardened, with his body following the example. He looked ready for a fight. “Why are you here?”

Ryouta opened his mouth to say in a light tone, “just enjoying the food” or something along those lines but he could see the mood wasn't right.

So he propped his head on his right hand and said, “I'm curious.”

“About what?” Haizaki's posture was still stiff.

“You.”

“Why? We're not friends.”

Ryouta gave a laugh at that, and it didn't sound very humoruus. “No, we're not.”

Haizaki glared at him with his arms crossed.

“I don't like you.”

Ryouta smiled brightly at him, “that's a lie. Everyone likes me.”

“Most just wanna fuck you.”

Ryouta blinked at that. He hadn't been expecting that turn of events. Still, he could run with it. He leaned a bit forward, “are you one of them?”

Haizaki squinted at that and Ryouta could almost see the wheels inside his brain trying to decide what to answer. He felt his breath catch. He wanted to know the answer, but for the life of him, he couldn't say exactly what he wanted to hear.

To his surpise, Haizaki sighed and uncrossed his arms, letting them hang limply by his torso. “I don't want to play games with you.”

Now it was Ryouta's time to come up with an answer. Wasn't that what they always did? Play games?

The truth was they didn't know each other all that well. They'd played in the same basketball team for less than a month together, a month where Ryouta had barely seen Haizaki and when he did, they always spent some minutes exchanging mean quips, usually until Akashicchi or someone else went to stop them. After Haizaki had left the team Ryouta had still seen him around sometimes, but there had never been any reason for them to talk.

Then there had been the Winter Cup and they'd been mean and rude, and a bit violent in Haizaki's case – he had stepped on his foot, after all, and who knew what he would have tried to do if Aominecchi hadn't stopped him –, but it wasn't like they'd spend more than an hour together.

And then he'd never seen him again, until some weeks before.

What were they? Not friends, that was for sure. Could they be friends? Did they want to be friends?

Ryouta pondered on that for some seconds, but he quickly figured the answer was no. He didn't want to be friends with Haizaki. Then what did he want? Someone he could be meaner than usual with? Or... did he want Haizaki to say, “yes, I wanna fuck you”?

“I don't know,” he said out loud.

“You don't know what?” Haizaki asked in an angry tone and it had been a while since he'd heard that tone. In fact, Haizaki had been a bit rude with him, but he'd never actually sounded mad or gone too far in his quips. Maybe Ryouta wasn't the only one confused about what exactly was going on.

“I don't know what I'm doing here.”

“I ain't a doll for you to play with,” Haizaki was still sounding mad and Ryouta found out he didn't want that. He didn't want them to be angry at each other.

“I know you're not,” was what he managed, even though it probably wasn't enough.

Haizaki glared for some more time, but second by second Ryouta could see him relaxing. Not completely, but at least he didn't look like he wanted to punch him.

“You know what? I don't even care. I have more shit to worry about,” and then he picked up Ryouta's things, handed him the bill, collected the money and gave back the change without speaking.

Ryouta didn't try to speak either because he realized nothing he could say would make it okay. So he simply got up and left.

.

Ryouta probably shouldn't have been surprised when he became unable to stop thinking about Haizaki, even though he really had other things to think about. The preliminaries for Winter Cup were going to start and while Kaijo wouldn't be in them, having been automotically put into the tournament due to their results at Nationals (third place and they had a re-match with Shutoku to look forward to), that still meant that the tournament was coming closer and closer. It was his last year of highschool and he refused to say goodbye without the cup. Last year they'd come in second place, having lost to Rakuzan but this year the Uncrowned Kings were gone and Ryouta's body was as good as it was going to get.

This was his time, he could feel it, but he didn't feel like he had everytime and it sucked that that was because of Haizaki.

How had it come to this? They weren't friends; they'd only met around half a dozen times and none of them had been all that special. But the truth was he didn't want to leave things as they were.

He thought about going back over and over but he always chickened out. The least he could do was find out an answer to the question, “what did he want with Haizak?” Or should he say, “from Haizaki?”

Ryouta sighed and moved around in his bed. Tomorrow was Friday and it would mark three weeks since he'd last been to the cafe. He was already missing the pie and he'd thought about asking Kagamicchi to make one but that would probably only make it worse.

Why Haizaki? Why had they met again? Midorimacchi would definitely have an answer that had to do with fate and signs and maybe even blood types, but while Ryouta accepted some things were out of his control, he didn't really believe in fate either. Destiny was what people made it.

He turned again. He had to do something: either he forgot about him or he went back and did... something. Apologized? Did he have anything to apologize for? Not as far as he could remember.

Fuck, he thought, and rolled until he was staring at the ceiling. Then he picked his phone from the nighstand to look at the hour. Almost two am and he had to wake up before seven.

He sighed and started to think about other things. Tomorrow he'd go to Ruby's and work things out. Or not; either way he wasn't going to continue wondering on what ifs.

.

It was ten pm when Ryouta opened the door. He'd though about going earlier, but then there would probably be a lot of people, and he wanted to talk to Haizaki in private. Not that he had any clue of what he'd be saying, but Ryouta was good at coming up with things on time.

Haizaki looked up from where he'd been reading the newspaper against the balcony. He looked back down after some seconds and Ryouta sighed. So three weeks hadn't been enough for things to calm down.

There was only one person at the cafe, who looked to be an university student too emersed in his books to care about what was going on. By the furious way he was writing, he probably wouldn't even notice if a fire started.

Ryouta didn't sit at the balcony, he just stood close to it. He waited in silence until Haizaki sighed and finally closed the newspaper, straightening to his full height, which was one or two inches taller than Ryouta.

“Why are you here?”

Honestly, Ryouta had no idea but after last time, he was pretty sure that wouldn't go over well. But why was he supposed to have everything figured out?

“Why not?” He asked instead and he knew he wasn't helping his case but there was just something about Haikize that made him want to... pick at him.

Haizaki squinted and his jaw clenched.

“Look, I don't know why I'm here. But it's not to fuck with you. I like this place and I like the food, okay? And I guess the company isn't all that bad,” he forced himself to say the last part. Not that the company was all that good either, but he had to admit he'd kind of missed Haizaki over the last few weeks.

Haizaki stared at him for some seconds, trying to find out if he was being truthful or not, with Ryouta staring back.

“Fine. We have strawberry pie today.” Not a “sorry” exactly (not that he'd been expecting one) but at least it hadn't been “get the fuck out and don't come back again”. Ryouta would take it.

“Is it as good as the vanilla pie?”

“Nah, but it's not bad.”

“Then I'd like a slice, please,” Ryouta finally sat down. “Don't spit it in, please,” he said, trying to test the waters.

Haizaki raised an unimpressed eyebrow – really, it looked unimpressed. Then he walked into the kitchen but Ryouta just smiled at that. Things were back to normal. Well, mostly, there was still some tension but he'd work on it. For now he had pie to eat.

.

A week after that found Ryouta back at his sit – and yes, it was his sit by now – talking with Haizaki about super heroes, of all things.

Ryouta didn't really care much about any of them. Sure, he'd wanted to be Spiderman growing up and he mostly stayed up to date on Marvel films, but if someone asked him something like how exactly someone (aside from Spiderman) had gotten their powers, he would never know.

Haizaki, surpringly, knew a lot about them. He didn't say why and Ryouta didn't ask, instead just listened to Haizaki trying to explain how there was just one way Batman could win against Superman.

He even made a joke that made Ryouta laugh and slowly things were getting back to normal, which should probably freak him out more than it actually did because since when did his normal involve Haizaki fucking Shougo?

“Yo Ryouta, you listening?” Ryouta was brougth back to attention by his name being called. There was no one else that said it quite the same way.

“Yes, you were telling me all about kryptonite.”

Haizaki rolled his eyes, “if you don't wanna know, then just tell me.”

“No, no, I'm interested, really!” And he was. “It's nice to see you liking something.”

Haizaki raised an eyebrow at that, “I do have interests outside of work.”

“Oh?” Ryouta asked in a tone that asked for more information.

“Sure, I like porn too.”

Ryouta didn't know what he'd been expecting but just for a second he'd honestly thought they'd have an adult conversation. He rolled his eyes, “remind me why you don't get along with Aominecchi?”

“'Cuz the fucker punched me,” Haizaki immediately said and then seemed to regret it. Ryouta regretted bringing it up a bit too, because now there was only one topic to move on from, unless they took a 180º turn.

But Ryouta wasn't a coward. “What would you have done if he hadn't?”

Haizaki looked at him assensingly, and then pushed off from the balcony, crossing his arms. But it didn't look angry to Ryouta, if anything it looked like the other was protecting himself.

“Would have gotten into a lot of trouble, probably.”

Ryouta squinted at that. “Would you have tried to punch me?”

“Probably.”

“I would have punched you back.”

Haizaki snorted, but it didn't sound condescending. “Past me wouldn't have given a shit.”

“Present you does?” He raised an eyebrow.

Haizaki shrugged, “try it and find out.”

“I don't want to punch you, Shougo-kun.”

“Then why bring it up?” Now Haizaki did look like he was looking for a fight a bit. Guess old habits die hard.

“Just to clean the air a bit,” Ryouta said in one of his most pleasant tones, one that was as fake as they came.

Haizaki snorted, “I haven't smoked since my shift started. The air's as clean as it's gonna get.”

“Those things will kill you,” Ryouta said, turning down his lips.

Haizaki moved a hand around, like trying to forget that line. “Look, what happened, happened. I don't even know what I was thinking. I was pissed, my ego was wounded... No wonder Daiki knocked me out in one punch; I was a fucking mess.”

“And you're good now?”

“Hell if I know. But it takes much more than one punch to take me down. Do you want an apologize? Fine, sorry for almost doing something to you.”

Ryouta glared, even though it didn't seem like Haizaki was mocking him. Then he sighed, suddenly all the fight disappearing from him.

“You're right, the past is the past. Just remember that I don't go down with one punch either.”

Haizaki smiled at him, a feral one, that showed his teeth and made his eyes kind of shine, but it didn't seem threatning. More like a promise. “Noted.”

“Now, do you want to tell me what's the storyline of the new Avengers film?”

“Don't even get me started on that shit,” but started he did and Ryouta listened attentively.

.  
Ryouta went by a week before the Winter Cup was supposed to start, and the minute Haizaki saw him he asked, “what's up?” Like he could tell something was different, like the energy around Ryouta was different. Which was true, but he hadn't been expecting Haizaki to notice.

“Winter Cup starts next Saturday.”

“You gonna win?” Haizaki asked and Ryouta couldn't for the life of him see what he was feeling – mad about it? Happy? Indifferent?

“That's the plan,” Ryouta said and sat, immediately starting to drum his fingers. Usually he wasn't that much of a twitchy person but this was going to his last highschool championship and Kaijo had ended in the top three for the last two years, but never in top one and he was going to change that that Winter.

“Here,” Haizaki said and put a bottle of water in front of him.

“Is it spiced?” Ryouta asked with a raised eyebrow.

Haizaki rolled his eyes, “you look like a light weight, so no.”

Ryouta didn't know if Haizaki really was trying to offend him or if he was just trying to get his attention to shift from basketball, but either way it worked. “Excuse me? Let me tell you that it's in my family's blood to handle alcohol. My sister once drank a whole bottle of sake and she still managed to make a coherent sentence by the end of it.”

“Maybe you're just special,” Haizaki said with a little smirk, but it was all bark and no bite.

“Well, that's a given,” Ryouta said, making his hair fly around a bit with a hand.

“And as vain as ever,” Haizaki rolled his eyes again but Ryouta just gave him an unimpressed look.

“Please, I know you wear products to maintain your face free of acne. And your hair is always buzzed on the sides, so you take care of it. You're just as vain as I am,” Ryouta ended with a smile and Haizaki squinted. The tally was now... well, he didn't know, but Ryouta had won this one.

“Who you playing first?”

Ryouta didn't bother to let the other know he was perfectly aware the subject was being changed, he simply shrugged, “some no name school from the North. Easy win. We'll probably play Seirin after that.”

Haizaki nodded, “so you want anything to eat?”

“No, thank you,” he answered and Haizaki raised an eyebrow at that. Ryouta just moved his eyebrows, since he couldn't understand what the other was trying to say.

“It's eleven on a Friday night and you came here just for water? You must really like me.”

Ryouta squinted at that, but then smiled, “the water is just that good.”

Haizaki gave a laugh, and Ryouta almost choked on the water he'd been drinking. He was pretty sure that was the first time he was hearing him laugh and it wasn't even the sound that made him pause. It was loud and unrefined, but Haizaki also threw his head backwards and Ryouta could see his throat and for just one second he thought of biting it, leaving a mark there.

He basically drank the whole water in some sips.

“I have to go,” he got up.

Haizaki just raised an eyebrow, but didn't try to stop him. Not that Ryouta wanted that. Well, maybe. At this point in time he had no idea what exactly it was that he wanted, he just knew that he had to go and get some fresh air. Preferably away from Haizaki.

He was almost out of the door when he was called by a “hey!” He turned his head. “You gonna win.”

He didn't say it like it was a promise, he didn't say “do your best”, he just said it like it was a given fact and goddamn it, when had his heart started to race at the sight of the other boy?

He nodded and almost flew the cafe. He didn't have time for a... a crush. He shuddered just thinking of the word.

He was just going to ignore it. Winter Cup was coming, and then the break and he'd be with his friends – that did not include Haizaki – and he'd simply stop visiting. Yes, that was the plan.

.

They won. Kaijo actually won against Shutoku. They were the champions of the Winter Cup. Ryouta didn't care that he was being photographed crying, he truly felt like he was on top of the world.

His teammates were rushing to hug him, alongside the other members in the bench, and suddenly they were all on the floor and they were laughing and crying and it felt amazing.

“Yes!” He pumped his first up when he was finally standing and the crowd was still cheering and it wasn't as dramatic as that first Winter Cup – there had been no screaming from teams they'd beaten –, but it still felt pretty good to look up and see Kurokocchi clapping, Momoicchi and Aominecchi smiling and Akashicchi even nodded at him once.

“I need to tell Haizaki,” he thought and didn't even care that just a week ago he'd promised to never visit the other again. It was a Saturday, but it was only six pm, so when he reached Shizuoka he'd still be working.

There was a ceremony and they gave them the cup and he actually got a medal scribed with “best captain” and okay, his tears were not going to stop falling for a while. But that was okay, even Coach was crying and then Ryouta was hugging him and they were back at being one massive pile of bodies.

“We need to celebrate,” Nakanocchi said and everyone else started excitedely at that.

Ryouta almost said he had something to do but it was still early; the last train was at eleven pm and it would only take one hour if he was willing to pay a bit more, which he was.

“Yes!” Everyone else screamed and then they went chattering about this and that to the locker room.

He passed through Midorimacchi, who gave him a little smile. Ryouta nodded in response. It had been a good game, a great one, with no one giving up until the very last second and he had no regrets. He hoped Midorimacchi didn't either, but if he had, at least his team was there for him.

“Where should we go?” Tsukinocchi asked and about half the room gave possibilities. Then they screamed at each other and Ryouta basically spent the whole time laughing.

Finally, once they were all dressed, they came to an understanding and then they were leaving and it was a good thing Ryouta was used to smiling, otherwise his face would be hurting by now.

.

Ryouta walked as quickly as he could from the station to the cafe, feeling his heart beat faster and he wanted to pretend it was still the adrenaline from the game, and a part of it was, but he knew most of it was about meeting with Haizaki, being aware of these new feelings growing inside him.

It was ten past one when he finally reached the cafe and the door was closed with the blinds down, but he could see light inside, so he started repeatedly knocking on the door.

“We're closed!” He heard from inside.

“It's me! Ryouta!” He screamed from outside and could hear noises inside. Suddenly the door was opened, with a surprised Haizaki looking at him.

“What are you-” But Ryouta didn't let him finish, instead he threw himself at him, kissing him like his life depended on it. It took Haizaki one second or two but then he was kissing just as fiercely and they were walking inside the cafe and from the sounds of it Haizaki had gone against a table, but if he wasn't stopping then neither was Ryouta.

It was the middle of the Winter so Ryouta had come with a big jacket on top of a normal shirt, but he was also wearing gloves, a scarf and a bonnet for the cold, which made it hard to feel Haizaki's body like he wanted. Haizaki on the other hand was wearing his normal working clothes, pants and a light shirt, since the place had heating, which meant his hands were everywhere, even if he was having a bit of trouble getting his hands under his jacket.

It wasn't like Ryouta's most kisses. When he kissed girls he always made sure he wasn't hurting them and with guys he tried not to overwhelm them, since most were a bit star struck they were making out with Kise Ryouta. But with Haizaki there was no holding back, there were teeth and tongue everywhere and he was pretty sure his lip now had a cut.

Haizaki pulled a little bit back, but didn't take his hands from Ryouta's ass. “Is this a celebratory fuck or a “I lost and I wanna feel better” one?”

He didn't seem to care either way which just made Ryouta want to kiss him again.

“Celebratory.”

“Good,” Haizaki gave him one of his most predatory looks. “'Cuz I ain't good at making people feel better.”

Ryouta felt the urge to respond with, “you don't make me feel worse” but then Haizaki was kissing him – if that was even the correct verb – and he forgot all about it.

Ryouta never stopped the kiss while he took off his gloves and jacket and suddenly they were all the more closer and it felt... fucking great, to say the least.

“Wait,” Haizaki suddenly said. “I have to close up. We ain't doing this here.”

“Afraid to get caught?” Ryouta asked with a little smirk, knowing his pupils had dilated and that his breath was coming a bit shorter. He still didn't let go of Haizaki's waist.

Haizaki snorted, “more like I have to work here,” Ryouta thought that explained as much as it didn't, but he didn't resist when Haizaki took some steps back. “Help and we'll get done faster.”

Ryouta sighed, “fine, what do I need to do?”

“Just put the chairs on top of the tables while I mop the floor,” Haizaki said and then he returned to the job he'd probably been doing before Ryouta had interrupted.

They didn't get entranced on their jobs. They didn't kiss but they kept sharing glances and touching whenever they passed by each other. Haizaki seemed to be very fond of his ass while Ryouta just had the urge to grab at his neck. The night wasn't ending without him giving him one hickey or two.

“So where are we going?” Ryouta asked when Haizaki came back from putting the mop away in a pantry.

“My apartment is just two blocks from here.”

“What about your family?” Ryouta asked with a raised brow.

“I live alone,” the way Haizaki said it made Ryouta feel there was more to it but he was way too horny to think about starting a potential argument over it.

“Come on,” Haizaki grabbed his arm, which was back inside his jacket, put his own on, which was just a leather one and how had he never caught a cold!? Once they were outside, he closed the door with a key and started walking away, not looking to see if Ryouta was following, which pissed him off just a bit but it wasn't like he wanted to go away.

Ryouta was feeling excited, so he spent the way talking about the game. He gave a little comment to the game that would decide the third and fourth place – Rakuzan had won against Yosen – but mostly he just talked about his own game and the plays he'd done and his teammates and how Midorimacchi had been great, and for five minutes they'd just shot three-pointers over and over.

Haizaki made some hmm sounds here and there, but mostly he just kept quiet. Ryouta wondered if he missed basketball, but once again that was a question he ignored. Haizaki didn't seem like the guy who wouldn't walk away just because he got pissed.

Just as he'd been told, the apartment building Haizaki lived in wasn't that far from his work place. It didn't look like much, the paint job was creaking and it wasn't a place in one of the safest areas.

Haizaki's apartment was on the third floor – they'd gotten there by the stairs since the building didn't have an elevator – and it was small, to say the least. There was a little kitchenette, with the most basic things to survive, a door that probably lead to the bathroom and the rest of the room was basically bare aside from a bed, a sofa and a bookcase that from what Ryouta could see mostly held comic books.

“No TV?” He asked, before he could stop himself. Haizaki looked like the type of guy who enjoyed playing video games.

“I don't spend that much time here, so it'd be a waste of money. It's just a place to crash,” he took out his jacket and boots and then looked at Ryouta. He smiled, probably an attempt to be seductive, which unfortunately worked, because Ryouta could already feel himself getting worked up. “Aren't you wearing too many clothes?”

“Aren't we excited, Shougo-kun?” Ryouta asked with a little smile, but still started taking off layers.

By the end of it he was just standing in his pants and shirt, although he was starting to feel a little chilly. The apartment had no heating.

They stared at each other. Afraid to make the first move or wanting the other to do it? Ryouta didn't know, but then he thought back at the game of that afternoon, and how he'd felt invincible and he took of his shirt, standing in only a tight white tank top. Then he took some steps, never taking his eyes of Haizaki, who likewise didn't look away, and then they were kissing again.

It wasn't as demanding as that first one, but it sure as hell wasn't soft. Ryouta had no idea where he wanted to put his hands first, so he just ran them over Haizaki's back, finally moving them to the front, so that he could put them under his shirt and play with his nipples. Haizaki moaned against his mouth and Ryouta smirked.

He kept moving his fingers in circles, pinching the nipples between them, probably causing pain and pleasure, which he wasn't surprised to find that Haizaki liked. It wasn't like Ryouta was always against a little bit of pain.

Haizaki's hands instead of going to his back, went straight to his ass, massaging it through his pants and Ryouta moaned. He was pretty sure he knew where the night was going to end and he had to admit he saw no problems with it. Surely their competetive natures, especially against each other, was going to make the pleasure last.

Ryouta kept his fingers on his nipples, but stopped the kiss, not allowing Haizaki to complain before he was latching on to his throat, like he'd been thinking about all the walk over.

He licked it and kissed it and finally gave a little bite on the skin right above where the shirt left on display.

Haizaki kept moaning while Ryouta made little hmm sounds, and finally lowered one hand to Haizaki's waistband.

“Let's go to the bed,” Haizaki said in a throaty voice and Ryouta didn't even think of mocking that, he just started moving, making Haizaki walk backwards (it was his apartment, surely he knew where his stuff was) until the other hit the bed, falling and taking Ryouta down with him.

Ryouta found himself sitting on top of Haizaki's waist, one leg on each side, and he leaned back to take off his shirt. He knew he had a nice body but he didn't give Haizaki enough time to ogle, instead went back to attacking his throat.

Ryouta only backed off when he felt sufficiently happy, having left Haizaki's throat a mess, red all over, with some marks that would have disappeared by the time he woke up and others that would make him need to wear a scarf. He smirked at that thought.

Haizaki pushed him a bit off so that he too could take his shirt and Ryouta decided to enjoy the show. Actually, having Haizaki strip to him would definitely be hot. Hm, something to think of for next time.

Haizaki didn't seem to mind the ogling, using the time to do some ogling of his own. Then suddenly the moment was broken and Haizaki's hands were reaching for his belt. He certainly didn't have clammy fingers, getting it off in one try. He pushed Ryouta's pants down and Ryouta did some acrobatics to take off his pants and underwear without getting up from Haizaki. He then helped Haizaki with his own pants, and once they were fully naked, fell completely on top of the other.

They both moaned at the contact between their torsos, with both of their nipples feeling sensitive to the touch, but especially to their cocks moving against one another. It had definitely been way too long since he'd gotten laid.

“Where do you have the lube and condoms?” Ryouta asked in a low tone between kisses.

Haizaki rolled them over until he was on top, and without stoping his kissing, used one hand to play with one of Ryouta's nipples while the other looked for something next to the bed (Ryouta didn't remember any nighstand).

When he finally found it he moved until he was sitting on top of Ryouta's waist – he looked good there. Funnily enough he was still wearing his ponytail, which was now a complete mess, with lots of hair hanging out of it. Ryouta couldn't decide whether he wanted it off or not, so in the end he left it like it was.

Haizaki kept looking at him and Ryouta, who didn't get self-conscious all that easily, had to admit he was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. When he was getting ready to comment or just do something, Haizaki leaned down, not letting their chests touch, and kissed him and once again, it was a different kiss.

Haizaki kept himself to a distance, so their mouths weren't completely connected, it was like they were chasing after one another.

Ryouta could distantly hear the noise of a cap being opened and he knew what it meant but Haizaki kept kissing him and one hand was now touching his cock, so it wasn't until something cold was against his hole that he finally opened his eyes and moved a bit.

“Do you want to stop?” Haizaki asked and Ryouta looked at him. He looked serious, like it really wouldn't be a problem if Ryouta “yes,” and it wasn't like Ryouta had ever expected him to be the type of guy who wouldn't allow his partner to change a “yes” into a “no” – he was a jerk, but that was taking it too far.

“No,” Ryouta croaked and that was all it took to make Haizaki go back at kissing him, this time like he meant to savage him and it was uncomfortable when the first finger entered him, but Haizaki took it slowly, pushing in and out several times before the finger was completely in him.

When it was finally in, Haizaki suddenly stopped kissing him and started doing it on his neck, going down and down, pestering kisses all over his chest, playing with his free hand with his pubic hair and suddenly Ryouta's cock was enveloped by a hot mouth and of course he knew it was all to take his mind away from the pain as a second finger entered him, but he couldn't care, not when Haizaki clearly knew what he was doing.

Haizaki started by just licking around the head, and then took it in, slowly going up and down. He never took too much in, knowing his limits well but the hotness was still too much and the only thing that didn't make Ryouta immediately come, especially when Haizaki moved his hand from his hairs to his balls, was that third finger.

Ryouta didn't get fucked all that often – it wasn't like he didn't like it; he enjoyed it well enough when he was with a capable lover, but more often than not the guys he was with prefered him to be the one fucking them, something he also enjoyed but it was good to sometimes just let go. And Haizaki definitely seemed to know what he was doing.

By the time a fourth finger was inside him Ryouta didn't even know what he was babbling anymore. He moaned and he rambled something about feeling good and he was pretty sure somewhere along the way he even begged. If he wasn't so far out of it he might have been embarrassed, but as it was, he finally had enough and with both hands, grabbed onto Haizaki's shoulders and forced him up, until the other was putting his weight on his elbows and hanging over him.

“Fuck me,” Ryouta said slowly and Haizaki smirked.

“With pleasure,” Haizaki said and to his surprise, gave him a quick kiss before he was moving away and grabbing onto a condom.

Ryouta didn't look away while he put it on. His cock wasn't that big, but it wasn't on the small scale either, just a bit thicker than his own.

“Do you want to get on your stomach?” The “it'll hurt less” went unheard but Ryouta still shook his head. Haizaki looked like the type of guy who'd be worth watching fucking someone, and if he was the one being fucked, all the better.

Haizaki didn't ask a second time, instead moved Ryouta around until he was in a good enough position – good thing he was such a flexible guy – and then he slowly started to push in. First just the head, letting Ryouta get used to it, which took some time, even though he'd just been fingered for some time.

Ryouta didn't trust his voice to speak, so he just nodded and Haizaki slid in slowly, inch by inch until he was all inside Ryouta, who wasn't completely comfortable – who ever got completely comfortable with a pretty big thing inside their assholes? – but at least Haizaki didn't move right away.

His arms were besides Ryouta's torso, close to his arms and he was pretty sure he could feel them shaking and not because of the effort of holding his weight on his hands. Ryouta finally opened his eyes and Haizaki was looking down, biting his lip and Ryouta moved a bit, not so much to make Haizaki start moving, but because he wanted to be the one doing the biting.

Haizaki moaned while he was being manhandled, until they were basically sitting and it wasn't exactly the best position but they were both athletic guys who could make it last.

Ryouta hugged him, at least in the beginning, but as Haizaki finally started to thrust in and out he quickly put out his nails, which weren't that big, but would probably still leave some marks, and tried his bests to jump to his rhythm.

When Haizaki found his prostate, Ryouta threw back his head, which made Haizaki cling onto his neck. Ryouta had a vague thought about making his manager upset if he appeared with marks, but it was gone as soon as it appeared.

Haizaki kept on thrusting and Ryouta tried his best to keep on with him, but after finding the best place to hit, Haizaki never stopped hitting it even once, which made Ryouta's brain basically melt through his ears. He couldn't even think, he just felt pleasure and the way Haizaki's body felt against him, his cock inside him, his moans around him, his smell entering his nostrils... he grabbed his cock and with just a few thruts into his hand came, basically losing all focus on the outside, just seeing stars behind his eyes.

When he came back to it he was lying down and Haizaki was still up. Ryouta decided to help things move along and started closing his glutes, feeling pleased at the way Haizaki moaned and looked, especially now that his hair was basically all lose, at least in the front.

His coming face wasn't all that attractive, but Ryouta still didn't look away. Haizaki spent some seconds catching his breath, still hanging on top of Ryouta and then he suddenly pulled off, took off the condom, gave it a knot, threw it at some trashcan close by (at least he hoped there was one around) and then he fell on top of Ryouta with a oomph.

But it wasn't like he minded it. Yes, they were sweaty and there was come now over both of them, but Haizaki wasn't that heavy – well, he was but for now it wasn't uncomfortable – not to mention that it was Winter and it was like having a human blanket.

Ryouta had no idea how the other felt about cuddling, but he didn't think it'd come as a surprise to find out Ryouta was the type of guy who liked to cuddle after sex. So that's what he did, putting both arms around his waist and his head against the other's.

Surprisingly Haizaki didn't make a sound, instead putting one hand on Ryouta's thigh, moving it up and down and they really were a mess, but he was pretty sure he could have fallen asleep like that.

Luckily – or not luckily, depending on how you looked at it – Haizaki seemed to not be such a big fan of being covered in come, so with a moan, not the pleasureble kind, he started moving, until he was up.

“I'm gonna shower.”

“Can I join?” Ryouta asked with a raised eyebrow and now he wasn't feeling self-conscious at all when Haizaki smirked back and gave him a slow once over.

“Sure, you need it more than I do.”

Ryouta pouted at that, but still started getting up himself. When he finally was, he stretched; a bit just because he liked the way Haizaki's eyes followed his movements, but also just because some muscles had been strained in ways they hadn't been in a long time.

Haizaki turned around and Ryouta was left staring at his tattoo. He had an extremely colourful phoenix, with its tail going just a bit over his left butt cheek and then going up until the middle of his back. It was... a work of art. Ryouta moved closed before he could think better of it, touching it almost reverently.

He'd always liked tattoos and he'd been considering having one since his sixteenth birthday, but not only had he never come up with the right idea, he also had no idea what that would mean to his modeling career.

“You like it?” Haizaki turned his head so he could look at him.

“It's beautiful,” Ryouta said in an astounded tone.

“Thanks. I got it after first year of highschool.”

Ryouta raised an eyebrow at that, hoping for more information but Haizaki just shrugged, “if felt right.”

What did that mean? From what he knew, which wasn't all that much, a phoenix was a symbol of rebirth, change. What had Haizaki changed?

“Coming or not?” Haizaki asked, this time from the doorway, and holding onto two towels.

Ryouta nodded and went after him, deciding he could try to find out more later – that seemed to be happening a lot; him wanting to know more and more about Haizaki. Well, he'd think about that later, for now he had a shower to participate in.

.

When Ryouta woke up he was sleeping with his belly down, his head turned to the left, close enough that he could smell Haizaki's odor, which smelt like the soap he'd used, something pretty normal, without any special smell, a bit just like him and also like sleep.

Haizaki was sleeping turned to him, with an arm around his waist and one of Ryouta's legs between his. It was a very... cuddly position.

Ryouta thought about going back to sleep, it was a Sunday and he'd told his parents he would be sleeping away before he'd got on the train – he was pretty sure his parents thought he was dating someone – but the position his neck was in was not that comfortable so he started moving it around, hearing a few creaks here and there and he should probably get up and do some stretching exercises.

When he looked back, Haizaki was looking at him with an inscrutable look. Ryouta considered several options of what to do next: kiss the other hello, try to have some morning sex, get up and leave?

They kept blinking and looking until finally with a groan Haizaki threw himself back, stretching and making several pops and groans.

“Do you want breakfast?” Haizaki said and threw the covers down, getting up without feeling any embarrassment for the fact that that he was only wearing boxers. But the apartment probably wasn't that warm, so he put on some jeans and a long sleeved shirt quickly.

“Okay,” Ryouta said because he was a bit hungry and maybe they could talk. About what he wasn't exactly sure yet.

Haizaki moved to the kitchen without another word while Ryouta started getting up, much slowier. Besides his boxers he'd gone to bed with some borrowed sweat pants, which fell a bit when he got up since Haizaki's waist was a bit thicker than his.

He stretched up, down and around before picking up his discarded tank top and going to see what Haizaki was cooking for them.

He'd been expecting cereals, if that much, but Haizaki seemed to have decided to make them some scrambled eggs. Ryouta's stomach made a noise when he started smelling the delicious odor coming from the oven.

“Milk's in the fridge,” Haizaki said without looking away.

Ryouta took themilk out of the fridge and then went searching for cutlery so that they could eat – there weren't many cabinets to look in, after all, but most of them were surprisingly full. For some reason he'd been expecting Haizaki to be one of those guys who when living alone had three items in the fridge (beer being one of them and in truth, he had found some bottles inside the fridge) and lived from take-outs.

He sat at a small table, which only had two chairs – not that it'd be able to accommodate any more – and waited for Haizaki to put a plate in front of him, while he sat down with another.

They ate in silence but somewhere along the way their legs got joined and yes, the table was small, but there was no reason that they couldn't have been able to keep away.

When they were done, Haizaki picked up the dirty dishes and put them in the sink, then he walked some steps to the place that could be called the living room and came back with an ashtray, a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

Ryouta couldn't help but to frown when Haizaki put one in his mouth and lighted it, even if he had to admit it was kind of a hot image, what with the way he took hold of the cigarette between two fingers and with his hair all down, a bit wavy.

He smoked in silence, turning his head to the side when he let the air out – which didn't stop some of the smoke from going into Ryouta's lungs, seeing as the apartment was all closed off but it was still a nice gesture.

Ryouta could feel his body thrum with energy. It wasn't just remembering the game, but the fact that Haizaki was right there and also that he, for the first time in a long time, had absolutey no idea about what was going on or what would happen after this moment. After so long following a certain routine: school, basketball, modelling, thinking about what to do next year, spending time with friends and family... it felt good to just live in the moment, even if he couldn't quite say he had no expectations.

He'd been trying to start a conversation about what was going on between them, when Haizaki stole his chance, “so, what now?”

Ryouta blinked. That was a good question. “I don't know.”

Haizaki raised a brow at that, and he looked... contemplative. Like he was trying to figure out something, or just weighting the cons and pros of whatever it was he was thinking about.

“I'm not the dating sort,” Haizaki finally said, putting the cigarette in the ashtray and giving it some swirls so that it could be put out, even though from Ryouta had seen, the cigarette hadn't been finished yet.

Well, at least they'd started talking. But Ryouta still had absolutely no idea what to say – agree with his affirmation and then... what? Continue to be “not friends”, perhaps with benefits? Or completely forget the previous night? Or should he try to fight that, say that yes, they could make it work, even though he had no idea if they really could, but hey, he was a hopeful person and one thing he did know: he liked spending time with Haizaki and he didn't want to ignore last night.

“Okay,” Ryouta replied with a nod and Haizaki went back at having one eyebrow raised.

“So what now?”

“I don't know, we go back to how it was.”

“No sex?” Ryouta had no idea if Haizaki wanted him to say yes or no – when had he become so good at hiding what he was feeling?

“I wouldn't mind adding that to the equation,” Ryouta affirmed with a smirk.

“It sounds like dating.”

“Never heard of friends with benefits? Or don't you believe in sex with no strings attached?”

“I do, but usually after the first time feelings get involved, whether you want it or not,” Haizaki seemed to speak from personal experience, but it wasn't like he looked completely sad about it or anything of the sort.

“I say we just take it one day at a time. No promises.”

“What about seeing other people?” Haizaki said with a challeging look and again Ryouta had no idea what he was looking for.

“It's fine by me,” Ryouta shrugged and it wasn't a lie. Cheating to him was one of the worst things a human being could do to another but he saw no problem with open relationships.

“Okay,” Haizaki said and nodded. “But I still ain't your boyfriend.”

Ryouta rolled his eyes, “that's fine, Shougo-kun. I'm not looking for one.”

Haizaki nodded and then got up, “so, got a place to be or wanna get back to bed?”

Ryouta got up himself and smirked, “so frontal, Shougo-kun.”

He shrugged, “it's one of my best qualities.”

“Well, after last night I think you have another,” Ryouta said with a look from behind his eyelashes and Haizaki grabbed onto him.

“You weren't so bad yourself,” he said against Ryouta's ear and then bit the top of it. Ryouta moaned; it looked like he wouldn't be back home for the next few hours.

.

Ryouta continued to only go and see Haizaki at Friday nights, but now he usually spent the night. They still didn't talk all that much and never touched the subject of whether they really were seeing other people or not. Ryouta for his side wasn't. He barely had time for Haizaki, much less for another person. If Haizaki was, he never let on but Ryouta didn't mind it.

It was on his fourth visit that Ryouta decided to finally ask something he'd been wondering for weeks.

They'd just had sex and it was probably close to two or three am, but he wasn't feeling that sleepy. He had his body completely turned to Haizaki, propping his head under his hand, while Haizaki was sitting agains the headboard, smoking. They'd discussed it and Ryouta had accepted that the other smoke one cigarette while in his company, but no more. More often than not Haizaki decided to use that one after sex, probably knowing Ryouta found it hot, even if a part of him also detested the habit.

“Why do you live alone?”

Haizaki looked down at him, puffing on the cigarette. He was sending him a look Ryouta had gotten used to seeing, the one where he could almost see the other's brain trying to decide what to share and what not to. Ryouta was pretty sure that since becoming reacquainted with Haizaki he'd become a much more patient person.

“My mom saw our first Winter Cup,” Haizaki said but Ryouta didn't immediately ask for an explanation. If he was starting with something so confusing, then surely he planned on explaining.

Haizaki wasn't the sort of person who talked a lot, at least not about personall matters, so it took him some seconds to get back to the narrative, continuing to puff on the cigarette and Ryouta was getting the feeling that he'd be picking up another one soon, agreement or no agreement.

“She didn't like what she saw,” he sent him a look, probably trying to seem amused, but he just looked tired. “She said I needed to learn responsibility so she told my aunt to get me a job and an apartment.”

There was a lot more to the story, Ryouta was sure, but Haizaki just put the cigarette out and continued to stare in to the apparent void.

“Do you talk to her?” He asked in a small tone and to his surprise Haizaki snorted and looked at him with a little smile.

“My ma? Obviously,” he rolled his eyes, “she thought I was a punk but she was still my ma. But she lives in Tokyo, so I only see her now and then. But she calls weekly and is always checking with my aunt.”

“Your aunt?” Ryouta asked confused, because Haizaki's tone made it seem like there was something there he just wasn't picking up on.

“Ruby. She owns the cafe. You haven't met her yet 'cuz she doesn't work nights.”

“Oh,” Ryouta said and kept looking at Haizaki, who with a sigh, slid down the bed.

“Any more questions?” Haizaki asked with a raised eyebrow and Ryouta shook his head. “Good, let's sleep.” Haizaki turned around to turn off the light switch to the room, which was standing some inches away, and then turned back to Ryouta, putting a hand on his waist and pushing one of Ryouta's legs between his. Haizaki wasn't the type of cuddler who'd turn his back and allow someone to spoon him or even be the one doing the spooning all that often, but he seemed to enjoy physical contact.

Ryouta kissed his shoulder and then closed his eyes. He still had questions, but he could ask them another time.

.

March was coming and the stress was finally getting to Ryouta. Since second year he'd been improving his grades. They weren't exactly great, but with basketball there would definitely be several universities willing to accept him. Now he just had to decide exactly what he'd be studying in... crap, basically a month.

It was a Friday and like usual he was at Haizaki's apartment, but this time he hadn't immediately latched on to the other. Usually sex was a good way to take his mind from his issues, but that day one of his teachers had made a speech about the future and making choices and when he'd gone to play with Aominecchi – they'd both finished highschool basketball so now they had to settle on each other and some other guys to keep in shape –, he'd been discussing which university he'd be choosing, because of course he too had received offers, even if he had grades almost as bad as Kagamicchi.

“What's wrong?” Haizaki asked, letting go from Ryouta's neck, which he'd been kissing for some seconds, with barely any attention paid from him.

“What do you want to do in the future?”

“Hopefully get sex,” Haizaki said and Ryouta smacked him in the arm, probably with more strenght than he'd been expecting to, going from the way Haizaki started rubbing it. “Why the question?”

Ryouta sighed and moved the couch, sitting down carefully – the coach was old and he had no desire to bring it down.

“Highschool is about to end.”

“And you don't know what you'll be doing next year?” Haizaki asked, sitting down beside him, and looking curious.

He wanted to say, “I do” like he'd said so many times, but instead he just nodded.

“Isn't it easier to figure out what you don't want and move from then?” Haizaki asked and Ryouta stared at him. “What?”

“That was actually pretty smart, Shougo-kun.”

Haizaki pushed him and Ryouta let himself fall with a smile, sitting down against the support and putting his legs on Haizaki's lap.

“I don't want to be stuck in the same job forever. I don't want to work in a business. I want to keep playing basketball.”

“What about modelling?”

He shrugged, “I don't know. It's been fun but... I don't know if it's what I want to do forever.”

“Then make a lot of money playing and then travel the world,” it was nice how Haizaki seemed to make everything so simple.

Ryouta was going to say that it wasn't that simple, that he still wanted to go to university, even if he had no idea what he'd be studying, but instead he just asked, “what about you?”

“I ain't going to university.”

Ryouta almost asked if he wanted to work for Ruby-san forever but he wasn't sure he'd be able to ask the question without sounding judgy. He wasn't; Haizaki and every other person in that cafe was hardworking but he just couldn't see how people wouldn't want more.

“I used to want to be a boxer growing up.”

Ryouta was surprised to hear that. “You don't want to anymore?”

Haizaki shrugged, “I don't know.”

“Well, what don't you want to be?” Ryouta asked with a smirk, but it fell flat when Haizaki didn't join in on the joke.

“I don't wanna be stuck on the same job forever. So a bit like you, I guess. But I don't wanna play basketball either. I ain't much of a team player.”

Ryouta nodded and they went back at being silent.

“I'm afraid of making a mistake. Of choosing something and regretting it ten years from now,” Ryouta said into the nothing, speaking out loud words he'd been thinking for months.

Haizaki looked at him at that, seeming to contemplate how to best reply. When he did it, he did it while looking at Ryouta's eyes, who felt like he couldn't look away even if he wanted to. “If you do, then you change. It ain't a bad thing to realize you made a mistake, it's bad when you just keep on repeating.”

“But then I'll have wasted ten years,” Ryouta complained, trying for a less stressed tone but failing miserably.

“I don't think someone can waste so much time without noticing. Besides, surely there'll be good parts, right?”

“I guess,” Ryouta said and sighed. He was still confused, but he also felt a bit more grounded, like he didn't have to make a decision right this moment. It felt a bit like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he looked at Haizaki with new attention, because he'd been the one doing it, even though he'd heard similar from ex-teammates and friends, it was the boy – man – in front of him who'd calmed his mind.

He wanted to say he wanted Haizaki to still be there ten years from now. How that wouldn't be something he'd regret but it felt like too much in too little time. Haizaki might say they weren't dating but it felt like a lot like they were and maybe it wasn't the most honest relationship; there were still subjects they didn't touch and neither had talked about telling others about them (Ryouta didn't even want to imagine the fit his friends would have), but it was still something. Right now and right here it felt real.

“What you looking at?” Haizaki asked, looking like he wasn't completely ignorant about what Ryouta was thinking.

“Nothing. Would you like to go to the cinema tomorrow?”

Haizaki looked at him, once again weighting the pros and cons and Ryouta could feel how this moment was going to change something, even if it was a pretty small something.

“Okay,” Haizaki finally said and Ryouta smiled, receiving a small one in response. It wasn't a fairtytale, would probably never end up in “and they lived happily ever after” but it was something, something good, something worth fighting for and Ryouta just kept smiling, not caring for the way Haizaki was rolling his eyes and saying he was going to choose the film. It was good.

**Author's Note:**

> This is what I imagine to be Haizaki's tattoo: http://tattoojockey.com/tattoo-design/13293/phoenix-japanese-tattoos-phoenix-tattoo-design-o-o-tattoodonkey-tattoo-design.html or something along those lines.


End file.
